In this Creators Circle, a caller asks whether feeling good is actually as important as it is made out to be. But if it isn’t, then what really is the key to successful manifesting? We’ll give some specific tips in this call to help you to take your manifestations to the next level and debug exactly why you haven’t gotten your desires yet.
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Topics Discussed in This Call
- [02:36] How Important is Feeling Good about Your Goal?
- [07:36] Which is More Important, Confidence or Feeling Good?
- [15:20] Evaluating Feelings Rather than Trying to Control Which Ones Come Up
- [18:23] Resistance is a Good Sign
Transcript
Brandon: Hey, everyone. This is Creators Circle, call #14 now, I believe.
Christine: Wow.
Brandon: We are answering your questions about the law of attraction. I mentioned last week we are doing things a little bit differently. It always scares me when the live stream starts playing and I start hearing myself. That’s distracting. [laughs] I’m like, “Why am I hearing myself talking 30 seconds ago?”
We are doing this a little bit differently. We are answering your questions only if you’re here, and we’re only going as long as you have questions. We do have someone with questions. This is awesome. Anyone else who may be watching who did not send me a question or who might be on Facebook right now watching this, feel free to comment with your question or click the “raise hand” button. I will see you and add you after I answer the first question here. [Caller #1], let me allow you to talk. Hold on a second.
Caller #1: All right, can you hear me?
Brandon: There you go.
Christine: Hey!
Brandon: How are you doing? Long time, no talk. It’s been a while. [laughs] How are you doing?
Caller #1: Doing pretty well. It’s raining like crazy here.
Brandon: Really? It rained yesterday here.
Christine: Yes, last night.
Brandon: Last night. Oh, my God, I was scared. I hate rain and thunderstorms. I’m terribly afraid of them. [laughs]
Christine: Master law of attraction teacher afraid of thunder.
Brandon: I am afraid. I’m sorry. I’m like a little dog. If I could hide under a bed, I would. [laughs] All right, anyway. You said you had some questions. What are your questions?
[02:36] How Important is Feeling Good about Your Goal?
Caller #1: Yes, so I’ve been thinking lately about to what extent feeling good about your goal factors in to things versus feeling determined about getting it. I’ve been thinking over some of the big manifestations that I’ve got. Some of them, I can’t even really say I felt particularly happy and Zen about. It was more a drive to get it. I think that’s a thing a lot of people stress out about. “Oh, I’m not feeling super happy about it all the time.”
Brandon: Let me ask you this. Were you stressed about it? You said you weren’t super happy or feeling good, but were you actively really stressed and anxious about it? I’m not saying none of the time, but were you often like that?
Caller #1: More at the time, just feeling determined. It was more a neutral “I’m going to get this no matter what.”
Brandon: Okay, that’s what I thought. What I’ve noticed is no, it doesn’t take being in the Vortex all the time or something. What it takes is having that vision that pulls you forward. I’ve talked about structural tension. You don’t have to feel good, but at least not resisting it.
Feeling good can definitely help, but it doesn’t have to be intense. If you can have that vision of the goal and that can be really strong for you, but not in a resistant way, but in a determined, persistent “This is going to happen” sort of way, and you’re at least not blocking it, then I think it’s going to happen. That’s been my experience. Can you give an example of where that happened for you, when you experienced that?
Caller #1: I think one of the bigger ones was around financial aid last semester. Things had gone sideways with them underestimating how much I owed. I owed them $2,000 or $3,000. [laughs] I got angry at that point. I said, “No, I’m finishing this semester. I’m not owing you guys any money.”
Brandon: Actually, I had something similar. When I was at Duquesne University in 2007 or 2008. It was the spring semester. I don’t remember which one, though. Anyway, there was a semester when I didn’t know if I could afford it. Either my loans had run out or they didn’t cover everything. I only had $3,000 or $4,000 left. I remember talking to them. This is way before—8 years before I even knew that the law of attraction even existed, but I still had a knowledge that everything would work out. I always knew that the universe always supported me, so even though at first I kind of panicked, eventually I said, “You know what? It’s going to turn out how it turns out. I know it’s going to turn out the perfect way.” We did find a way for me to stay. We found some extra scholarships or grants. I don’t even remember anymore. [laughs] It worked out, basically, so it was perfect.
Christine: It actually happened to me, too, one year.
Brandon: Did it?
Christine: Yes, and I forgot about it. I forgot about it, but I think it was my second semester at school or something like that. Anyway, it was before I knew you. I didn’t know about this. My mom didn’t even tell me at all about this, but she said how my oldest sister was going to help pay for it because my mom couldn’t. Now, I didn’t even know about it. It was just interesting. She didn’t tell me until after the fact.
Brandon: Sure.
Christine: But it worked out. It wasn’t much at all, really, but it still happened.
[07:36] Which is More Important, Confidence or Feeling Good?
Brandon: Yes, it’s funny. This is what I’ve been focusing on lately—not just regular old short-term goals, but really, really big ones like your long-term future goals and especially dreams, I guess. When you look at really, really successful people, I think by and large you don’t find that they are super-duper happy and joyful all the time. That definitely can happen, but I don’t think that’s the norm. I think what you find is that they just had confidence. They knew it was going to happen, and they trusted. They trusted in themselves, their own abilities, and perhaps in something higher if they had that faith, but they trusted. They were able to let go. Trust and confidence actually seems to be more important than feeling good. What do you think about that?
Caller #1: Yes, I would agree with that. I think also sometimes the trying to feel good just stresses you out too much.
Brandon: Right. It really does.
Caller #1: Stressing confidence is a different, deeper level. It feels neutral in terms of emotion.
Brandon: Yes, it is. I always tell people. People say, “Do you try to feel really good for your goals?” I never really feel beyond a 3 or so. You’ve been there when I’ve said that before. I never really try to feel beyond a 3 out of 10. If 10 is absolutely over the moon ecstatic bliss and 0 is “meh” neutral, I rarely go above a 3. When I’m visualizing, sometimes even a 2, if that. A touch of emotion. I think of Richard Dotts’ book Light Touch Manifestations. That’s what I always think about because he says it takes a light touch. It doesn’t take this, “Oh, my God, I’m so happy!” [laughs] Jumping and bouncing off the walls is just not required. “Oh, yeah, that’d be cool.”
Christine: That’s how I am now about my goal.
Brandon: Right. It doesn’t take this really intense—I think that’s almost fake. I don’t know.
Caller #1: It does feel fake, yes.
Brandon: It does feel fake. The universe can tell that. Even if sometimes you do feel like that—“Oh, my God, that’d be awesome,”—I talk about the stages of manifestation, especially with Robert Fritz’ stages: germination, assimilation, completion. That’s really only the germination stage where things are just new. You have this new energy, a new awesome idea. “Oh, that would be so cool!” As you work towards it, it’s like, “Yes, this is happening.”
I’ll go so far as to say this. If you’re feeling really super excited, you’re only at the beginning stages of your goal. Isn’t that such a departure from what people usually say in the law of attraction? The better you feel about it, the closer to your goal you are? I would almost say the opposite. I’m not saying feel bad about it, but the more away from zero or away from neutral you are about your goal, the more that it’s just in the beginning.
I think as you go, it becomes more about confidence and trust. I just read this book called Overachievement by John Eliot. Actually the bonus for the people in the mastermind who are joining before the end of the month—that’s one of the books I’m giving them. It’s such an awesome book. He talks about top performers, athletes, millionaires, musicians, whatever in whatever field. The top thing they had was trust because of the squirrel mindset. A squirrel doesn’t second-guess themselves. [laughs]
Christine: That is so true, though.
Brandon: Confidence. Ridiculous confidence. I know that I’m the best at this. I know that I’m going to succeed at this because there’s no other way. I know my own potential even before there’s proof, even before it’s logical and I’ve succeeded at this. Most really successful people just knew from a young age that they were going to do this.
It wasn’t confidence coming from circumstances. It was the circumstances coming from confidence. Trust and confidence are the two big things—and persistence, obviously—for big manifestations. Really big manifestations. Feeling good is just not going to get you there. It can’t last. You can’t maintain that. That’s what’s been working for me. What do you think about that?
Caller #1: I like the sound of that. That sounds true to me.
Brandon: Yes. It’s a lot more realistic, I think. I think the feeling good thing is just too simplistic. Having that confidence—the difficult part is finding excuses to have the confidence. It’s like what people say about feeling good even before you have proof of it. I’d say having confidence before you really have a reason to be confident. Then having trust. That’s about it. That’s, to me, what the big thing is. I think that’s hugely important.
Caller #1: I think the other problem with feeling good is also it makes the times you feel uncertain stand out a little bit more.
Brandon: Right. How do you mean that?
Caller #1: If you’re focused on always feeling good about it and then you have moments where you’re not so sure, it can make you freak out a little. At least, that’s been my experience. I’m not feeling good about it.
Brandon: I think that we have an obsession. I get the question all the time, “If I’m feeling good for a while, and then I have a negative thought, does it wipe away all my progress?” I’ve mentioned before that I want to sarcastically reply, “Yes, absolutely it does.” [laughs] Because it really doesn’t. It just doesn’t. How would we ever get anything if the second we got a negative thought, it was like, “Oh, no! I have to start all over.” Uncertainty is part of the process. Resistance is part of the process.
I keep saying resistance is actually part of the path because resistance means you’re on the right path. You’re getting there. When you’re getting that resistance, it’s like, “Oh, wait. That means I’m doing the right thing. It doesn’t mean I’m going the wrong way or anything. I just have to deal with this resistance. Once I get to the other side, things will be better.”
[15:20] Evaluating Feelings Rather than Trying to Control Which Ones Come Up
Brandon: We have to know, I think, what each feeling represents. I think that more than trying to control what we feel, we should know what to do with that, if that makes sense. Instead of trying to be super happy and never be negative, know what it means when you are negative. If you take care of the cause of feeling negative, uncertain, or doubt, then it just simply won’t come up or it simply won’t be a big factor. You’ll just be in that nice, neutral, maybe slightly positive state that is perfect for manifestation. If you take care of the reasons that you’re doubting, then you’re not going to have any reasons to doubt.
That’s not to say—Gratitude is really important. I’ve been realizing lately how important gratitude is. You do have a choice of what you focus on. It’s true that if you focus on negative stuff, you’ll tend to get more of that. You’ll tend to get stuck in that. If you tend to focus on things you’re grateful for, then you’ll get more of that. But I wouldn’t take it beyond that. I wouldn’t try to manufacture being happy all day. Being grateful for things you’re going to be grateful for, but see what emotions come up and just deal with them. Does that make sense?
Caller #1: I really needed to hear that, actually. [laughs]
Brandon: Yay.
Christine: That’s awesome.
Caller #1: That’s exactly what I needed to hear. [laughs]
Brandon: Awesome.
Caller #1: Because it is something that is sort of stuck in my head from other law of attraction teachers. It pushed this feeling-good-all-the-time, feeling-super-Zen. You can’t. Crap comes up even if you are super happy all the time. Sometimes you hit roadblocks.
Brandon: Yes, sometimes things come up. Stuff happens. I think that when we learn to deal with the negative stuff that comes up, instead of saying, “Oh, my God, there’s negativity. I’m just going to ignore it or run away from it.” If we learn how to cope with it, then it’s just so much more healthy. You know what to do. You know how you need to proceed.
When I get resistance, I just say, “Hey, there’s resistance. I must need to work through some stuff recently or move some energy or whatever. Oh, that’s interesting—I have this belief going on.” I’ve been shocked lately. I’ve been working on really big manifestations lately. I’ve been shocked what kind of resistance I hold. It’s amazing in a way. So I look at that. “Here’s some resistance.” I’m not saying I’m perfect with it. It does affect me sometimes, even a lot of times.
Christine: Yes.
[18:23] Resistance is a Good Sign
Brandon: But then I learn how to step out of it. I say, “Okay, you know what? That’s a bit of resistance. That’s actually a sign I’m moving in the right direction. It’s a sign I’ve really hit on something big that I really want and that my subconscious mind is fighting back about a bit. That’s just part of the path.”
I used to say, “You’re never off the path. You’re always on the path because no matter what you’re doing, as long as you hold that vision, you’re on the path.” Whatever is coming up. If good stuff is coming up, that’s awesome. Great. That means you’re making progress. If bad stuff is coming up, it’s still great because it still means you’re making progress. You just ran into some stuff you have to clear out. I’d almost rather, in a way, bad stuff come up and me have to deal with it because it means that I’ve run into something that previously was keeping that goal away from me.
Christine: That’s right.
Brandon: If I run into resistance, it means that that resistance, mental block, or subconscious program was keeping my goal away from me, and now I’m meeting it head on. I can deal with it and release it. Once I release it, then it’s not blocking it anymore. So I think I’d almost rather that happen than get a whole bunch of positive stuff. In a way. That’s how I see it.
Caller #1: That makes sense.
Brandon: Does that help?
Caller #1: Yes, definitely.
Brandon: Do you have any other questions about that?
Caller #1: No, I think that pretty much covers it. [laughs]
Brandon: That was really good because I think, like I said, it’s important to know. Until I put these things into words, it’s like things are swirling around in my subconscious until I put them into words. Then I’m like, “Oh, yeah.”
But about confidence and trust—I think that’s the big thing to take away from this. When we have that confidence and trust in ourselves, then it means that we can get it a lot more easily. It doesn’t really matter if we’re feeling that great or not. As long as we’re feeling okay and are not blocking, resisting, or pushing against it and are going with the flow, then it’s okay to be kind of neutral. That’s kind of the natural state to be in.
It’s not really natural to be in this super-happy state all the time. It’s just not. It’s just not necessary. That’s the big takeaway here for a lot of people because I think it’s a huge misconception. That was a really awesome discussion. Thank you for asking. I appreciate it.
Caller #1: Thank you for answering. [laughs]
Brandon: That is it for us today. I appreciate everyone who…
Christine: Does anyone else have questions?
Brandon: No, that’s all there is. I have been checking. Again, I appreciate those who are listening and those who check out the recording. If you would like to join our Creators Circle next week, if you’re on the mailing list, you’ll be given information about that. If you’re not, then sign up for the mailing list [laughs] and you’ll be notified how to join next Tuesday. Again, our new policy: we’re only accepting questions from those who are actually on the call, and we’re not going to try to come up with topics. As long as there are questions, we’ll be here. Thanks, everyone, for participating. We will see you guys next week. Bye, everyone.
Christine: Bye.
Caller #1: Bye.
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Topics Discussed in This Call
- [02:36] How Important is Feeling Good about Your Goal?
- [07:36] Which is More Important, Confidence or Feeling Good?
- [15:20] Evaluating Feelings Rather than Trying to Control Which Ones Come Up
- [18:23] Resistance is a Good Sign
Transcript
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Topics Discussed in This Call
- [02:36] How Important is Feeling Good about Your Goal?
- [07:36] Which is More Important, Confidence or Feeling Good?
- [15:20] Evaluating Feelings Rather than Trying to Control Which Ones Come Up
- [18:23] Resistance is a Good Sign
Transcript
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10 Reasons You Aren't Getting Results with the Law of Attraction
Download this free ebook to find out why the law of attraction isn't working for you.
I loved this call. I know quite a few people who are happy, yet they’re single and don’t want to be, or struggling financially, or have some other issue going on.
I feel like this call helped me to better understand the structural tension you’ve been talking about. I think phrasing it as unrelenting confidence rather than tension makes better sense for me.
Hi @Natasha, so happy you enjoyed it. 🙂 Yeah I like the idea of confidence. And I’m glad it clarified things for you.
Another thing I wanted to say is that Abraham pushed making positive lists every day, looking for the positives in every situation, and constantly looking for things to appreciate. All of that sounds good in theory, but to actually do it all the time does begin to feel incredibly fake and like you’re manufacturing the emotions. Obviously gratitude, appreciation, and being happy are important, but these things should come naturally, not be forced. I think your approach to all this stuff is so much more realistic and real than common loa teachers.
Hi @Natasha, thanks! I agree it can really be so fake and forced.
There is a technique I’ve been giving my clients lately, that is sort of a modified gratitude journal, but doesn’t rely on trying to generate fake happiness or gratitude. I’m teaching it in my mastermind as well, and so far I’ve been experiencing positive results with this technique.
But I agree that the gratitude journal, as generally practice, doesn’t work so well.