Readers Questions: Do You Need to Experience Pain to Manifest?

In this Readers Questions video, a reader asks how to handle a manifestation when there are many small pains in life which are becoming overwhelming.

What do you do about all the responsibilities you have in life, when you can’t just leave them behind? Can you really have anything that you want?

Resources Mentioned in This Video

• Create022: Why You Need to Invest in Your Goals

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Topics Discussed

• [00:39] Question
• [03:06] Life Is Not About Pain
• [06:29] Look at Your Subconscious Mind
• [10:15] A Better Way
• [15:13] Make Yourself First

Transcript

Hey, everyone. This is Brandon Olivares from Co-Creation Coaching. I’m here today with another Readers Questions video. Readers Questions videos are a chance for me every week to answer your questions about the law of attraction. If you have a question you’d like to be answered on Readers Questions, you can go to playofinfinity.org/ask and I would be happy to answer.

[00:39] Question

Today’s question is about pain and sacrifice. It’s not necessarily my favorite topic, but I think that it’s an important one to discuss because a lot of people get confused about this topic. It’s definitely something we should be discussing. This is rather a longer question. I’m going to read the whole thing, unlike what I usually do, because the whole thing is important for understanding where this person is coming from. I have put up an abridged version of the quote that you’ll see as I’m reading it. You should see it right now. I’m going to read the full version here.

Our reader asks:

I’d love to get your take on how to act on manifestation goals in the context of a life with lots of responsibilities. I get a lot of advice about minor actions that will improve or even just maintain life, most of which require a little bit of hurt. Not a lot, but enough to sting a little. For example, maybe nutritionists say swap one food choice for a different one each day. And financial advisors say to cut one minor expense per day to increase retirement savings. Then of course, there’s exercise, bureaucracy paperwork, caring for aging relatives, etc. None of these is a big pain in themselves, but I find that when I add them all up, plus the “hurts-a-little” choices for my manifestation goals, I’m dying a death of a thousand cuts. In other words, all those small pains add up into a lousy life. It makes sense that you have to sacrifice a little to show the universe you mean business, but how do you work that into a life where you already have a lot of minor sacrifices? I’d hate to say, “Well, I’ll just forget about being healthy or saving money or taking care of dependents and work on manifesting my goals instead.”

So that’s her question. I’ve got to say, I feel a little depressed even just reading it. [laughs] I’m not making fun of it. That’s not really how this works, and it does make me sad that someone is experiencing it in that way.

[03:06] Life Is Not About Pain

The first thing I want to say is that life is not about pain. I read this question and I just get pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, sacrifice, pain, etc. That’s not what it’s about. I’m not one of those fluffy feel-good “just feel good and everything is going to work out” kinds of people. You know that. But you’re supposed to overall be feeling better. That’s sort of the goal. 

I’ve said before, yes, that your goals will hurt a bit. They will have a bit of tension, but it shouldn’t be to this level where you feel like, literally her words, “a death of a thousand cuts.” That’s not what we’re going for. That’s not what the universe is going for with life. It’s just not about pain. That’s not what we’re here for. I don’t want people to get the idea that I’m saying you should sacrifice. I think this is coming from a recent post of mine where I talked about how you need to invest. This is a recent podcast. You need to invest in your goals. I talked about that in episode #22 in “Co-Create Your Life.” In that podcast, I did say it’s going to hurt a little bit. You should give up time, money, or energy in some way that will let the universe know, “Hey, I’m serious about this. This is what I want.” 

But I didn’t mean it in such a sense that you have to sacrifice, you have to be in suffering and pain. I just mean that when you want to get your goal, it’s going to hurt a little bit. It’s going to be a little bit painful, but it shouldn’t be overwhelming. This kind of investment or small tension is just telling the universe that I’m serious about this, but it’s not this huge thing. I’ve compared it before to the feeling you get after exercising a lot, where your muscles hurt, or even when you wake up the next day and everything hurts because your muscles are being broken down so that they can get stronger. It’s not like breaking an arm. If you feel like you’re breaking an arm or (keeping with exercise) have torn a muscle or tendon, you’re doing it wrong. It’s not supposed to feel like that.

There’s supposed to be a little bit of pain that tells you you’re doing work here. You’re breaking down the muscle. It’s going to build up even stronger. It’s moderation. It’s moderation. That’s really vital here. It’s not about pain. Of course, it’s not going to be 100% pleasant as you’re working toward your goal. You need balance in that way.

[06:29] Look at Your Subconscious Mind

You also bring up all these other things in life that are small little pains, and they add up to this death of a thousand cuts. I’m sorry to go back to that same phrase, but it really exemplifies what I’m talking about and the kind of energy behind this question. Those things that are little pains—you mentioned swapping different food choices, cutting down on minor expenses, caring for aging relatives, things like that—I get where you’re coming from in a way, because it’s a very common perspective out there. But I would look at your subconscious and ask yourself whether you have a belief that life has to hurt in order to be successful or just that life has to hurt. 

I don’t even get the sense of “Well, I can only be successful if I have these pains.” I just get that, “Well, these pains are just a part of life.” So I would look at your subconscious, what you’re thinking and feeling and believing, and ask yourself, “Do I believe that life is about pain? Do I believe that I have to have these little cuts, pains, or sacrifices or that this is a necessary, obligatory part of life?”

Now it is a very common belief out there, don’t get me wrong. A lot of people believe this, but it’s not necessary. I hear people saying, “How do you make sure you stay healthy? How do you make sure you’re financially stable? How do you make sure that you’re not neglecting your family members?” I’m going to go back to what I’ve said over and over again, especially in the last few weeks. You are letting your ego rule things here. You’re letting it run the show. You just don’t want to do that. You just don’t want to do that because when the ego runs things, it’s going to do things sometimes in the most painful way possible, especially if it believes that that’s necessary. It’s going to do things in a way that’s hard and takes a lot of effort.

Your ego believes in that. That’s what it’s all about. You have to make things happen. So you just don’t want to give it that opportunity to have that chance to run things for you. Do you really believe that if your soul, higher self, or core essence were in charge, that you’d be experiencing these little pains and sacrifices that you don’t want to do every day? Do you really believe that that is the path of least resistance, the only road available to you?

I hear people say all the time that life is about suffering. You don’t always have pleasant things you want to do. That is in some sense true. There are some things that you might not be 100% joyful about, but the overall feel of life should be positive. It just doesn’t feel like it’s that way for you. It absolutely should be.

[10:15] A Better Way

Do you really believe that if your soul were running things and you were connecting with your core essence, that things would look like this and you’d have to ask this question about a thousand little cuts? I don’t think so, personally. I don’t think that that’s the way. I just don’t think that that’s the way.

You might say, “How do I not do this?” I will give a couple brief examples. I don’t want to go way overboard like last time. [laughs] Let’s take financial security. You say cutting out minor spending. I find reading what financial people have to say about this stuff useful in a certain sense, but you also want to be careful that their beliefs don’t get to you. A lot of them will be about spending at a minimum and sacrificing this and that and not getting things that you really want. I hear that stuff. That’s their opinion. I just toss it out, because we know as law of attraction users that that’s not how it is.

I will tell you that for me (this is just in the last year that I’ve become financially stable), I deny myself very, very few things. I would actually say nothing, because if I want something, I create a goal and I save up for it. I say, “I should be able to get this next month, or by two months, or by six months if it’s a big thing.” I put aside this and that. I’ll also say, “Retirement is important, so I’ll put aside this much into my IRA every month. That’s that done.” It’s a both/and. I contribute to the IRA and other investment accounts I have, too, and I spend things. One of the things I like to order in food because it’s convenient and I like it. I like to buy things, especially technology.

I do all that. I don’t feel like I’m being denied. I don’t feel like I’m sacrificing. Now, if I want something enough, then that will create tension in me, and I will create the income to have it. I think you’re looking at things in a negative sense. “I can’t have this. I can’t do that.” That’s not how it is. I would look at things in a positive sense. Say, “This is what I want. Maybe I can’t have it right now, but I will create a goal, and it will happen.”

What about caring for relatives? I don’t know what the situation is. Is there someone else in your family who would be more excited and willing to do that? A lot of us let guilt play into this. I saw this first-hand because when my grandmother on my mother’s side was getting sick and harder to take care of, my mother was the one taking care of her for a long time. Then, eventually, it got too much for her, and she passed it on to her sister. It was not easy. There was a lot of stuff going on there, but she did that. Is there another solution? Is there someone else who could take care of this person? Is there even a better solution? I don’t think you should ever feel obligated.

I think there’s a similar thing in the health subject. I don’t want to touch every single one, but it’s the same thing. You’re looking at, “This is what I have to do,” and I’m saying, “Is it?” What if you can have everything? What if you can have your cake and eat it, too? That’s what I would look at. What are the alternate solutions? Do you really need to live a life of pain, or can you find another solution?

[15:13] Make Yourself First

That’s really the big thing.

Yes, you’re going to have tension, as you approach your goals. Yes, you’re going to have little sacrifices. I don’t like the word “sacrifices” because it makes it sound like we’re denying ourselves something, and I don’t think we have to. Little pains here and there. But it’s for the purpose of having something we want. It’s not because the universe is dictating, “This is what you must do to be a good person.” [laughs] That’s not how it is. It’s just about what you want and the process of getting there. I would invite you to rearrange how you see your life and how you see your obligations and responsibilities. I hate those words.

Reframe things into “What do I want?” Make yourself first. I’m not saying to abandon your relatives. I’m saying make yourself first, and find a way to make everything else work. And you will. Once you give yourself that permission, you will absolutely find a way to make everything else work. But right now, you’re not putting yourself first, and you’re having all these little pains. You’re putting up with what you can, and you’re saying, “I just can’t take any more.” It’s because you’re not doing things the way you’re supposed to do them. Turn that around, and I think that it will go a lot better.

I hope that this helps. I think it’s a very detailed topic. There’s lots more you can say on that, but hopefully that’s a good introduction. Again, if you have questions for Readers Questions, go to playofinfinity.org/ask and ask it there. If you’d like to be notified when I’ve posted videos like this, you can subscribe to my YouTube channel or come over to playofinfinity.org and subscribe to my mailing list, where you’ll be notified of all my new posts. You’ll also receive my free checklist, “Ten Reasons You Aren’t Getting Results with the Law of Attraction.”

Once again, I’m Brandon Olivares from Co-Creation Coaching. I hope everyone has a wonderful day. As always, anything is possible.

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Topics Discussed

• [00:39] Question
• [03:06] Life Is Not About Pain
• [06:29] Look at Your Subconscious Mind
• [10:15] A Better Way
• [15:13] Make Yourself First

Transcript

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